William's First Video Game

I realize because of the gulfs of time between each update on this blog that William's progress may be impossible to gauge. I apologize for this, and I hope that anything left out can be extrapolated to the degree necessary for enjoyment of the blog. I also realize that I have promised to continue updates before, and have failed horribly at these deadlines due to my preference for never missing an update of my webcomic. Thus, I will not make that promise. This blog will update when I have something to say, but it will still be on Wednesdays.

William and I got our first Father-Son video game the other day, a game which I am sure he will look back with more fondness than I, a game by the title: Lego Star Wars III. A game that I will argue is more challenging than Dark Souls. A game which stresses the very limits of my abilities. A game that might be called Star Wars, but should really be called "William! The Red button! No! The Red one! UP! UP! No! Too far up!"

As a poor college student, I haven't been able to afford any of the Star Wars movies, so William's education rests almost solely on the movies we've been able to find at the local library, and the Clone Wars tv series. As of this moment that would be episode 1: The Phantom Menace, which raises the weird question: Why is William obsessed with Darth Vader? William loves Darth Vader, or as he calls him, Darth Bater. I don't think he has quite come to realize Darth Vader is a bad guy, anyway, William's Star Wars preferences has no bearing on the point of this post, which is William and my first foray into co-op gaming, a tradition which can only get better.

As it turns out, William, as a three year old, is actually quite good at moving his character. He picked up how to move and hit things pretty easily, with only a few pit falls and "Daddy! Help!"s, although he still becomes confused on how to move in an exact direction at times, up usually is up-left, left is usually left-down, etc, etc. William's main hang-up is his insatiable curiosity about doors and windows. He loves them, or, to be more specific, he loves to possibility of what could be on the opposite side. He will run at a window for five minutes, becoming more and more aggravated at the video game designer's gall to put something that looked like a door or window into a spot that is really just a wall. 

As he is furiously swinging a lightsaber at the most unbreakable door in the universe, I usually am the one left high and dry needing a character with the force to move something that is actually in the way of level progress. After the first few levels I have come to realize that story mode is not for William and I, and instead we should focus our efforts on free play. In free play I can be any character I wish, and don't need William to understand the mission in order to complete it.

William loves the game, and I love watching his face as droids fly at the wall as he learns the proper use of the 'b' button.

Parenting is hard

I'm gonna tell you guys a big secret: Parenting is hard.
It's hard dealing with a kid who won't listen when you tell him to do something.
It's hard knowing how to discipline and punish, especially as the child grows and the rules need to be updated.
It's hard trying to divide your time between work, school, free time and kid time.
It's hard integrating education in play.
It's hard developing a rewards system that works.
But most of all it's hard switching from one to the next, as some conglomeration of difficulty which increases daily as the rest of the world vies for attention.

William is an amazing kid. One day he'll be as sweet as can be. He'll read stories, he'll say please and thank you, and he'll sit still long enough to learn some letters. Other days he'll be the terror of the house, running, screaming "No!", and generally being a mess. I realize that in many ways this sounds like every other kid, but William will always be unique, special to me because he's the kid I care about all of these things. I care about why he is doing what he is, why he is acting the way he is. The way I deal with him will influence what he grows up into. He could grow up into a scientist, a teacher, a soldier, anything depending on what I play with him, how I discipline him, and how I teach him.

But most of all, I want him to grow up to be a guy I would want to hang out with. A guy I would call a good guy. For the time being I have to be a parent, not a friend, so that he can grow up into a guy I can call a good son, and a friend.

William and the Yogre

For christmas this past year William received perhaps the greatest gift ever, the Imaginext Ogre. (Which can be seen here.) Although his mom was less than ecstatic, I was instantly drawn to the toy ever since I saw it gazing at me from the upper shelves of Toys R Us. The sounds. The range of movement. The size. The man shaped hole in the feet. The Ogre is no ordinary kids toy, it is the epitome of knight crushing monsters.

Or so I thought.

It is here where I revel in the amazingness of children's minds. When William began to play with the Ogre, whom he has taken to calling "Yogre", he immediately set it to work repairing his cars, castles, and armor. It seems that his new toy tools fit perfectly in Yogre's green, meaty fists, which to William meant that he was an engineer, a mechanic, a carpenter, and a builder. He worked for the king, not against him. I found this an amazing feat, and felt worse for having assumed Yogre was some angry, unintelligent brute. 

Starting Over

I'm officially starting this blog with a semi-blank slate. I apologize to those of you who are familiar with it, but I simply could not keep up with all of the things I had to do and update this blog at the same time. As I fell behind I fell into a sort of blogging depression. The task of catching up with all that I had not written became daunting, and the joys of writing Unconscious became my only real passion for Time For Hugs.
Something interesting happened a few days ago though. My spaceship abc's poster skyrocketed in popularity, and my site, while not viral, received many more hits than it ever had before. With this influx of viewers I decided I needed to step up my game... so here we are.
So who is William? And why am I watching him? When this blog started he was simply my girlfriend's one year old son. Now, as I sit in our apartment, watching Curious George with him next to me, he is more than just my girlfriend's son. He may not be blood, but he is my family, and I love him as my own.
William is now two, and being two he is obsessed with the words "No", "Mine", and "Why?" He is extremely verbose and talkative, although his temper often puts his manners and speech far from his mind. William is the Hulk. Unstoppable, anger prone, easily distracted by shiny things, but also possessing a keen intellect and impressive communication skills.
He's also a pain in the butt sometimes, which he must of gotten from his mother.
Because he obviously didn't get it from me.
I think he got my looks.

An open letter to William

Dear William,
I write this letter with the hopes that one day you will read it and perhaps understand why I had to leave every weekend. I hope you read it and will understand how hard it was to look into your eyes and tell you goodbye when you asked me to stay. I hope you read it and will forgive me, and barring that at least understand that I did what I thought was right, even if it was not what I wanted.

Depending on when you read this (either soon after my writing this as your mom has said she will read this to you, or when you are older and perhaps do not even recall the days you asked me to stay) it will probably matter very little. But as a writer I need this out now, because you and your mom mean the world to me, and I hope that through writing I may be absolved of my mistakes, and find comfort in the airing of my difficulties.

Recently  I had to drop you off with your great grandparents because your mom was at work and it was past your bed time. You had a little smile and an outstretched hand, eagerly saying, "Come on Daddy, come on." Your eyes had a hint of sadness, like you knew I was leaving and you sought to draw out the night as long as possible, and I have no doubt you knew exactly what was happening, because it is how it always has happened.

I couldn't leave then. You and your mother have this insane ability to look at me with those blue eyes and make me stay. So I followed you in, thinking that I would set you on the couch and then leave. I sat you down, immediately for you to pat the seat beside you and give me that same little smile. "Sit daddy, sit." What was I to do. I had to go, it was late and I had school the next morning. I kissed your forehead and said I loved you and walked out. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do,  hearing you cry and run for me as I closed the door behind me.

I'm sorry I had to go William. One day I'll drop you off to sleep and I'll be there, every night. I promise you this. I had to leave because I don't have the education to make the money to get the house so that we, your mom, you and I, can be a normal family yet. Hopefully by the time you can read this we are, and you never have to see me go again. I know it's hard for you to understand it, even if you are older, but I had to do it.

I can't wait to watch you grow William, and if you are reading this and have already grown then I hope you have turned into every bit the man I know you will. I'll see you this weekend, be you big or small.

William on a Friday

There are some weekends we send William off to be with his biological father's family, and on these weekends I feel this little mix of extreme happiness and slight sadness. I'm happy because, once a month, my girlfriend and I can be a couple instead of being parents. We desperately need these as sometimes we get so caught up in the stresses of being so far away, from each other and never having any time to just enjoy each other's company that things get rather difficult between us. But the sadness comes in from not being able to see William for a whole weekend, except on the rare weekend where I can make it down there on Friday and spend some time with him before he goes.

I won't have many pictures with this post, as it's mostly just feelings and thoughts. Friday's with William are typically really good. We go get some errands done, sneak into his mommy's work and give her flowers when she's not looking, go to the library, etc. It's a simple time of a few hours where we don't have to worry about finding some place to be for 6 hours. We don't need a home because we only have a few hours together. They are great because the stress of finding a place for him and I to be is gone. It gives me time to focus on William, which I wish I could do more.

William is now two!

William is now, officially, a two year old. The officicality of said age is due to it having been celebrated in the customary manner: Presents and a party.

This would be the first of William’s birthday’s I will attend, as during his last birthday my girlfriend and I were a few weeks into our relationship and it would have been weird should I have gone. Not this time though! This time I was right there in the thick of things, doing what dads do: finding a place to avoid having to do any work or getting asked to do anything.

My girlfriend did most of the work, getting a venue (a friends house), inviting the guests, getting the food. I did some things, such as breathe and eat said gotten food. But enough about the party; lets talk about William and what he did. That is what you are all here for isn’t it?

William started off the party staring across the street at a motorcycle a neighbor had. Behind him lay car decorations, a bubble machine, hordes of family, and food, but all he cared about was what was across the street and whether or not that was his birthday present. Hint: It wasn’t.

My time with William during the party would be short. In the beginning I took on the over involved parent, trying to make a good impression on everyone around because I was the oddity in the group. I quickly realized that what I needed to do was let the people who were there to see William take care of William. I’d check in from time to time, but for the most part he was busy playing catch in the front yard with some of his relatives.

It was soon time for cake. We got him a chocolate and vanilla cake with little car toys on top. William refused the cake and instead pleaded for the cars as we tried to take his picture blowing out the candles.

Presents went about the same way as they did during Christmas time. After one present he didn’t want to open more so we had to force him to sit down and tear some wrapping paper. My girlfriend and I had gotten him a toy kitchen from a thrift store. It was big, blue and pretty awesome considering William was always curious when we were in the kitchen making food. This, of course, led to some chastisement from her family. Kitchens are, to some, a girl toy; especially when looked upon by a family who’s past times include hunting, nascar and fishing. I defended, and still defend, the decision as I have always thought of the kitchen as the manliest place in the house; being a room that houses fire, knives and food.

And now William is two and I can’t wait to see how much he grows before the next birthday party, which after this post I will probably be expected to help out more with. What have I done?